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Have you been seeing spots lately?  You know, spots.  Those things that your spouse has done wrong or that just annoy you and you keep thinking about.  Guess what?  The Bible has something to say about that.

I like how God starts out the Bible with telling us how He created the whole world.  In Genesis chapter one we read on the first day that God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light and we go on and read what He made on that first day.  Then at the end of that day God said, “It is good.”  Then we can continue reading and see what He made on the second day and at the end of that day God said, “It is good.”  And it continues on through the third day, the fourth day and the fifth day.  But on the sixth day it is different.  We read about what God made and learn that God made people.  He made Adam and Eve.  Then He married them.  And at the end of that day God said, “It is very good.”  So we know that marriage was God’s idea and He planned for it to be very good.

But sometimes we can feel like our marriage is not “very good.”  That’s because when we get married, we marry a human being.  A person.  And the thing about people is that we make mistakes, we say things that hurt other people’s feelings, we annoy each other and we just mess up.  The problem is when we focus on those things that our spouse has done wrong, that mistake that they made or that misunderstanding that we had and we forget about all the good things about them.

So what do we do?  How do we stop seeing spots?

It’s always a good idea to look to God, especially for wisdom on things that He created – like marriage.  First Corinthians 13 has become known as “the love chapter” because it’s about love.  God’s love.  That’s a great place to go to find out how God loves and also how to love other people.  It says things like “love is patient,” “love is kind,” “love always protects,” and this, “Love does not keep a record of wrongs.”  Now that is some good wisdom for when we start to focus on that wrong thing.  When all we see is that spot.  We need to remember to forgive and to think about all the good things about our spouse.  I know there are a lot of good things to think about!

I like an illustration that I heard a while ago on FamilyLife.  What if we got together and I showed up wearing a shirt with a spot on it.  A small stain.  What would you be thinking of me?  You’d probably be thinking something like, “Oh, what a slob!” or “Why didn’t she put on a clean shirt?  She must not care about me.”  You would be focusing on that small stain – that spot.  But imagine that shirt again.  There is only a small stain on it.  So really most of the shirt is great.  And that is what we should be focusing on – the 99% of the shirt that is really very nice.  Then we can say, “Oh, what a great person!” and “They really have been kind to me.  I know they care about me.”

And then we will stop seeing spots and we will be able to say about our marriage, “It is very good.”  Just the way God planned it.

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