Saturday mornings are delightful! They used to be very busy taking our young children to their sports games and practices, but now with only one child still at home we often get to enjoy sleeping in and homemade breakfasts. Aaahhhh.
So the other morning I asked my son what he would like for breakfast. Usually he wants pancakes or waffles. This particular morning I heard him answer “apples,” which I thought was strange, but I went to the kitchen, sliced an apple and placed it on the table for his breakfast. I was a bit disappointed because I was hoping for waffles that morning. Then my husband asked why he had an apple on the table for breakfast and my son answered that he didn’t know why. I told them both that he had asked for an apple and soon found out that he had actually asked for waffles. Oh! That made so much more sense, but I sure thought he had said apples! So we finally made waffles and enjoyed our Saturday morning breakfast.
The whole thing reminded me of how important good communication is. I should have asked my son if he had said apples and then I would have known right away that he had said waffles. But I didn’t. I just thought I heard apples and sliced an apple.
A few years ago I read a book by Gary Chapman about our different love languages. It was just like my waffles and apples situation. I remember that Chapman suggested that there are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. He wrote that we tend to give love in the way that we feel love. The problem is that our spouse may not feel love in the way that we do. So your husband may give you gifts because he feels loved when he receives gifts, but if you don’t really care about receiving gifts, you don’t feel especially loved by your husband just by him giving you gifts. So your husband could be believing that he is showing you all kinds of love, but that is not what you hear or feel. He may be giving you gifts when you really want him to help you around the house. He may be telling you waffles, but you are hearing apples – and you would really like waffles and don’t really care much for apples!
So here’s my waffles and apples lesson. Do you know how your spouse feels loved? Do you feel loved by them? Maybe you need to communicate and ask some questions. They may have been spending years telling you they love you and you didn’t even know it!
So as good as apples are, let’s make some waffles for breakfast!
Lori Schulz 